During our time in Kosovo, I learned a lot about the concept of failing to love. I could easily write a post called “The Pain Caused by Silence” and give you a play-by-play analysis of what I did wrong but I’m choosing to instead share on how I’ll do better.
While the countdown till Ukraine was on, God and I had a good chat. He hounded me about community, love and uncomfortability. Loving people is not synonymous with people pleasing, it’s having the courage to speak up, call up and trust. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 says,
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
He wanted me to go back to the basics and make my way through this list slowly. This process started with something I never thought I would do again, public speaking. The only way I can grow is by being uncomfortable, not just waiting for it to find me, but choosing to step into it. So I volunteered to speak to the squad during debrief. I took every mistake and choice God carefully showed me and brought it before the squad. Explaining how uncomfortability is connected to not just your personal life but your team and ministry as well.
With this new personal beginning, we merged with another team and were sent off to Ukraine. A plane, taxi and 12 hour train ride later, we arrived in Odessa. Greeted with hugs and warm smiles, we were taken right in by Heritage Ukraine. It was a true honour being able to serve in their ministry. We helped with landscaping on the property; served in their Joy Center (a place and program built for kids with autism); handed out shoes at orphanages; put up wallpaper for a family in need; put together and handed out care packages for familes; emptied out and cleaned storage areas; helped decorate for christmas; and played games with kids at another orphanage. The list goes on but these are some of the highlights.
Did I step into uncomfortability as much as I wanted to? Not at all. Something I learned from my sister before the race was that I am not going to magically become a new person in a day. Instead of constantly being upset that I’m not perfect, I should celebrate the little bits of progress I make! I volunteered to put up wallpaper when I had always heard that its a nightmare. I wore a clown costume and played with kids at an orphanage despite not feeling up to it. I have no background whatsoever with kids with autism and fell in love with each one of those beautiful children. Was everyday fantastic? Nope, and I regret nothing. The family we put up wallpaper for had 5 young girls who just wanted a friend and I got to love them with lots of hugs and chats through a translator app. The clown nose felt like it was forever changing the shape of my face but there were at least 20 kids with the biggest smile on their faces. I got bit, my ear screamed into and dragged around multiple times but I felt love unlike anything else I had experienced when serving those kids in the Joy Center. God took all of my uncomfortable moments and used them to, not only teach me, but to give love to others.
I still have plenty of room for improvement but I am one step closer to what He wants to see from me. What a blessing! I got to physically serve so many for the Lord’s kingdom and even learned more about Him from those I served.
I’m not sharing this for the sake of getting a gold star and a pat on the back. God is the one that matters here. My intention is to share what He is doing in my life and how that is affecting the world around me. It’s the beauty of ministry! Heritage Ukraine is an amazing God-loving ministry that’s dedicated to serving their community and sharing God’s love with others. I am truly blessed to have been able to spend a month walking along side them both serving and learning.
This is a humble blog, Joanne. You don’t have to worry that you are exiling yourself. You are not. You are actually exhorting us to become more uncomfortable, to move closer to the Father, and to allow Him to minister to hurting people through Him. Thank you, for you speak truth, lady.